puisifaridah

Kupang Oh Kupang

2011-08-21T23:35:00.000-07:00

Kupang Oh Kupang
Kupang oh
Kupang
Kupa
Kup
ku!

there is never a right time

2011-07-21T18:51:00.000-07:00

there is never a right time to say what
we really mean

there is never a right time to say
goodbye

this knife of yours

2011-05-08T23:59:00.001-07:00

this knife of yours
is so twisted and twisting
it goes deep into my heart
as you cry out my name

thinking I do not hear it

A face without a name

2009-10-25T10:37:00.000-07:00

I could have called him Ahmed
Mohamed
Aziz
Said
Mouloud
only I could not tell which was
a Morrocan name
which was West Saharan

Images of torture
of fights over borders
of abuses
and exploits
were his life

how does one reconcile
a face
with any of these?

Give me a name!

Casablanca-Dubai, Oct 24, 2009

langkah seekor semut

2008-11-23T08:22:00.000-08:00

perlahan dan lembab
berjengket-jengket agar tidak lemas
di dalam ceteknya
air gula di lantai

langkah seekor semut

terlalu berhati-hati

Unnamed piece

2008-11-23T08:19:00.000-08:00

what inspired
what transpired
what's wired
what's transmitted
what's translated
what's misinterpreted
what's misrepresented

the world is just as screwed up as you and me

No more poetry

2008-06-19T17:42:00.000-07:00

no more poetry
beauty is missed

when you are busy
busier than the
bees

Hair Salon Conversation

2007-12-31T17:04:00.000-08:00

The boys spoke no English

Their Malay was as good as perhaps their Chinese

As one snipped my hair away

he told me how he had no time to eat

It was already 5 pm

"too many people today", said he

sometimes we wait for hours like fools

other times are like today

where I have to miss my meal

he told me how he felt giddy because of his hunger

I told him to bring packed lunch to work

or stop for 5 mins to make a hot choccolate

He said he feared his customers would mind

or that his boss might scold him

for taking that extra time to feed himself

Inside me I was thinking, "I'd give you extra ringgit to get you your meal"

and you need not feel hungry unnecessarily

Then I asked why the salon did not have reflexologists

My concern was me

He gave me his friend's card

the other friendly chap working on my daughter's hair

so certain he could give her a Posh look

he does part time reflexology

every Thursday he's not working

to make extra money to help pay his meal

I was deeply impressed

"Orang Cina banyak pandai ya?

Semua boleh: gunting rambut, urut kaki" I quipped

(trans: the Chinese are very clever and skilled.They can cut hair, do reflexology)

My hairdresser smiled and said modestly: Orang Melayu pun pandai.Dia boleh goreng pisang

(trans: Malays are also clever.They can make banana fritters)

I said eleh! banana fritters sell RM1.00 for 3 but you make RM40.00 for 15 mins reflexology

At 6.30, my hairdresser got to eat his lunch.

I didn't give him the extra ringgit to buy his meal

But instead, I paid extra RM40 to get a hair cream

which I don't....

........really need

Late love Ithaca

2007-06-09T12:48:00.000-07:00

You are like a late blossom
of an overdue spring.

Was WTC

2007-05-29T19:30:00.000-07:00

Di sinilah berdiri megah
dua menara kembar

yang hanya dengan sekelip mata
jatuh menyembah bumi

ku bayangkan saat-saat akhir kematian seorang anak,
isteri, suami,CEO, kerani, pencuci lantai,
penjaga lift,pelawat dan orang yang tidak harus
berada di situ
mengapai-apai nyawa
tolong! bantu!
dosa apakah ini?

hari ini tinggal ruang
yang sepi
seperti labah-labah
mengganti rumah
kren ini penghias
sudah 6 tahun ia di situ

bolehkah New York lupa
sekiranya ruang ini diisi semula?

DOG Street in Colonial Williamsburg

2007-05-19T17:45:00.001-07:00

We found a spot to eat our lunch
on DOG Street in Colonial Williamsburg
some people are ashamed to be associated with
anything colonial
but here, it is an attraction
a pride of a state
people come to experience what it was like
to be early English settlers
what it was like to be amidst the firsts to sign the Declaration of Independence

Independence of what?
for whom?
Is it still?

I have to re-learn my American history
to join in the celebration
this trip will be one of many
to educate me

but back to our DOG Street lunch
sitting with Anthony, Jason, Francis and a few others
we were of a rich mix
Anthony is 100% Filipino but looks very mixed
dressed in his military uniform, asking curious questions on religion, performance and skits
Jason was easy going, an eye witness to the start of a public quarrel of two visitors
an elderly man and a mother of an excited kiddy
who tripped and annoyed an elderly man, set to have his quiet munchie
barking began on dog street
we were witnesses to a theatrical performance
as we are all to any other fightings and killings
in different parts of the world stage

It's fun to watch
just as it was watching war reports on TV

But my brother Francis spoke to the mother
asking are you alright, m'am
cos' he knew what it was like to be attacked for protecting his kids
flying back to Asia on a long-haul journey
where he was denied meal for asserting his paternal instint
but the high drama would not be complete
without this African American guy cruising in between the shouting and screaming
of two angry adults, trying to pacify the woman, protecting his brother, the elderly man
the woman's husband started to pick on the African-American guy and I guess this is the scene
in which you'd bring in the race sin...
when it could have been just a kindly gesture

The drama got heated
We decided to move on, to find peace
for ourselves
and write reports for others to imagine the kind of
adventure we had been in.

So tune in to this TV.

****more on colonial williamsburg at http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/06/arts/06will.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
===> also check this
http://www.colonialwilliamsburg.com/visit/tourTheTown/flash.cfm

puisi ku hilang

2007-05-19T17:07:00.000-07:00

puisi ku hilang
di blog sendiri

siapa yang mencurinya?
siapa yang perduli?

puisi ku hilang
kerana aku
membicarakan sejarah/identiti amerika
di DOG Street

puisi ku bahaya?
*haramjadah mana?

nota kecil: * perkataan ini saya jumpa dalam satu blog.Ia satu perkataan yang tepat tetapi semakin pupus.

Lobster di beg

2007-05-19T17:01:00.000-07:00

Lobster itu ku bawa
ke hulu
dan ke hilir

dari harvard
ke copley marriott
ku simpan di dalam peti

harus makan berhati-hati
takut darah tinggi

lobster itu ku bawa
ke hulu
dan ke hilir

ia menjadi saksi
kepada kegelojohan manusiawi
satu tidak pernah cukup
dua tidak pernah terlebih

malam itu
sekumpulan lobster
menjadi saksi lagi
akan kegelojohan manusiawi
menghabiskan 20 juta usd
hanya untuk sebaris sebutan

Malaysia itu cemerlang, gemilang, terbilang

aku nampak lobster tersenyum
di sisi.

A dialogue between two generations

2007-05-19T16:56:00.000-07:00

A dialogue between two generations (a duet by Faridah and M.Shanmughalingam)

Faridah:

Thatha
The day you told us of your journey to the new land
I half listened in between MTV and instant noodles
You spoke of the early days' hardship and how lucky we were
You collected empty bottles, sold used newspapers
To pay for Dad's school and his 6 other siblings

I heard your stories too often
that I could tell you which line you forgot

Shan:

Your Thatha was a pioneer Paper Lama man.
I did not even dream of a van.
I walked everywhere
Saving on trishaw fare
When the son was at it's hottest
I thought of our daughters.

Then our sons, my wife and our family
What I had to do just to live simply

Faridah:

Pak Mat thinks you are a tough man
Despite being confined to your wheel chair
Auntie Mei Lin serves you nice, warm Chinese tea
It looks very Malaysian to me

You spoke, saw, heard no evil
in this land of opportunities
one wise way to survive, you say

But Thatha
Explain to me
the divide and rule I face at school
Indians do what Indians have to do
Malays see what Malays want to see
Chinese hear what Chinese want to hear

Thatha, teach me how to stay cool like you

Shan:

I only look --cool
Don't judge a look by its cover
The Colonials started the divide and fool
But do we need to perpetuate it as a rule?

Must a Malaysian fear and
face loneliness in his own homeland?
Almost every one else here
Is First a Malay, a Chinese, an Indian,
an Iban or a Kadazan.

And now first a Muslim, Buddhist,
Christian, Hindu,or a Holier
Than thou even within his
own community

Must a Malaysian be relegated
Down to the "Others" category
For being none of the above racial
or religious categories first?

A Malaysian lost in Malaysia
Will he be found?
By whom?
When?

Apa yang kau cari di sini?

2007-05-19T16:25:00.000-07:00

**(terilham selepas habis membaca novel Mohja Kahf The girl in the tangerine scarf -- dengan sedikit pengubah-suaian)

Di kota terbuang ini
ulat-ulat hijau berterbangan
ditiup angin kencang

bertanya
apa yang kau cari di sini?

di kiri kau novel Mohja
bercerita konflik diri
sebagai muslim di daerah tersisih
bercerita bagaimana dia harus tabah mempertahankan
tradisi
kerana itu didikan ibubapa yang sering berkata,
"jangan malu jika orang memerhati kita
sembahyang di tepi jalan
atau mengambil wudhu', membasuh kaki di sinki Sears
atau Macy"

di hari budak-budak skinhead menarik tudungnya
mencarik-carikkannya
tiada seorang guru yang membantu
mengatakan ini tidak mungkin di sebuah negara
demokrasi
di mana kebebasan beragama adalah perlembagaan

di hari budak-budak Saudi mempersendakan tudungnya
sambil meraba kewanitaannya
di dalam limo mewah di pinggir padang pasir
sambil berkata,"tidakkan kau tidak biasa bercumbu
dengan lelaki? Mengapa kau bertudung.Ini bukan
cara Amerika"
dia memekik sekuat hatinya

"AKU MAHU PULANG!!!!"
Di Amerika mereka menghina
tetapi tidak mencabul kehormatan wanitaku.

Apa yang kau cari di sini?

Di kanan kau seorang anak remaja
bertungkus lumus menghadapi periksa
menangis terisak-isak
kerana tiada siapa di sisi untuk mengadu

apa yang kau cari di sini?

Naik hantu (Spring Blues)

2007-05-19T16:20:00.000-07:00

How can I write of magnolias, daisies, cherry blossoms
roses, lavenders, tulips
daffodils, camellias and irises
when I still see seas of winter?

I leave no winter mark
on waves of cold emotion
signalling death
of a time
of a place

Naik hantu

a Malay expression when one is sick and tired
of something beyond one's control

Are you mad at God?
Is God at fault
that everything is so confused
day is night
night is day?
Spring is Winter
Winter is Spring?

Do we know who we are
And who HE is?
Is this not time to reflect?

In the words of a sufi
"I searched for God and found only myself. I searched for myself and found only God"

No reason to naik hantu.

Cold Reception

2007-05-19T16:16:00.000-07:00

It was a day when I thought I was
smarter than God
February was my safe month
wintry wind would miss me
It should end with Christmas

Northwest was 30 mins behind time
Narita was polite about it all, we jumped queue
in a rush to Detroit

Luck was not me
Or luck was indeed me
Plane missed and would I please
Come back tomorrow morning

and hence,began a wintry trauma
Stuck in Detroit amidst the purity of snow
in a warm hotel with free WiFi
Thanks to wired technology, I was immediately home with online
family

I’d catch my flight tomorrow afternoon, I told them confidently
Tomorrow noon never came
Blizzards proved to be testing again
Dancing, flaunting, ravaging
Go look for other hotels, we don’t cover anything to do with fail of Nature
I stood in the icy air
Waiting
Hoping
The shuttle bus would come frequently
To find Hyatt at Dearborn you first had to misunderstand the Detroit accent
try looking for the courtesy form up and down the escalator
back and forth the McNamara tunnels

But after a while you’d find out what they meant
Courtesy PHONE
The white one at the corner
A-ha

Hyatt was nice but impersonal
WiFi no longer free
It didn’t work immediately because they never knew Malaysians
sometimes have long names
I was Nor first name and Faridah surname
But Steve on the other end in Texas was so sweet
Gave me a temporary access when all else failed at (a.m.) 3
Asking me if it’s true what they said about Malaysian gals
Men grow taller when they smile at them

Innocently I thought of the Petronas twin towers and said
I guess so.

Detroit Detroit Detroit
You are not my New York
I waited 3 days on you
This is not a friendly city
You have a nice make-up
But inside, I see steel.

Detroit
Feb 16, 2007

Beeplah saya!

2007-05-19T16:15:00.000-07:00

Beeplah saya sekiranya saya lupa nak kemaskinikan blog ini
Maklum sahaja saya ini hamba sahaya
Di sebuah negara yang merdeka

Beeplah saya
sekiranya saya terlupa
untuk menulis tentang apa saja
yang berlaku di sekitar kita

Semalam saya di Port Dickson
bersama teman-teman penulis nasional
saya tersepit di tengah-tengah bijak pandai Malaysia
yang datangnya dari merata-rata
dari Macang hingga ke Vienna
Hamburg tak kurang jua
ijazah yang berjela saya bawa dari New Zealand, England dan Australia (dah saya kata 'berjela')
tidak bererti apa-apa
saya bawa kisah Da Vinci Code mereka tanya mana kisah klasik lama-lama
saya kata belum sempat baca kerana saya sarjana 'muda'
eleh! mengada-ngada

tetapi beeplah saya
jika saya terlupa
membawa wacana yang lebih besar dan bermakna
untuk terus memerdekakan kita

Of self, nation and identity

2007-05-19T16:14:00.001-07:00

I remember Kirpal Singh writing the same piece
asking 'how do i introduce me?'

Do you start by telling
what your name is?
or begin with your occupation?
("here's my card")

Is that really you?
Or do race and religion matter more than your nationality?

I will start with my little toe
it is a bit crooked
for that,I limp a little
and this scar on the upper lip?
that will never make me anything closer to Angelina Jolie
THAT I received when quarelling with my little sister
becos' she took my mom's love
away from me

I will also begin with these eyes
half Chinese half Afghan
which will make them 4 generations old

the mind travels like a
space shuttle
going back and forth
planet Earth.

And I will keep searching
for ways to
introduce me.